Whether it's patiently dealing with a co-worker who is working your last nerve with their dumb questions (yes, there is such a thing as a dumb question), graciously greeting that special (and I do mean special) someone who has stepped to you wrong one too many times, or shifting your eyes and smiling nervously when you are trapped in an elevator with someone you KNOW just passed gas.....our inner thoughts at work, carefully crafting the words that we will never, ever say. Why? Societal sensors of course. Decorum that preserves the feelings of the person at whom our thoughts are directly, sparing them embarrassment, fear and "come to Jesus moments," while we feel those very same things, double time. And while this seems like a raw deal, we find that time after time, when we open our mouths out of fear or ignorance or impulsiveness we are the most destructive. Why? Because the world would like to make you think that you are a punk if you don't SAY SOMETHING. All when we could have let silence SPEAK VOLUMES in our place. It's like those old, wise women who sit on porch stoops bearing witness to some of the most questionable and sometimes foul things all while shrugging their shoulders, raising their eyebrows, whistling and continuing to knit. The unbroken silence is baffling to most of us who have something to say about everything. Her unspoken words, may help a child escape from their abusive home in the middle of the night, keep a homeless man from being arrested, or protect a young man, teased to the point of torture. These are women, for whom silence is their strength.
Ever taken a road trip by yourself or spent time alone in meditation or prayer? The quality time spent in SILENCE with your inner thoughts is either comforting enough to become a routine or terrifying enough to make you want to spend the rest of your 20's on a shrink's couch. Even when the world around you speaks, YELLS even; when you are quieted enough to discover what is at your core, what amazing inner and outer strength we find! A man was once quoted as saying that "our time spent in the private place will determine our strength in the public place." Whether the private place we find is our own minds or in the corner of our closets, find it, and and stay there as long as you need too. After all, the world is not in need of another talking head whose comments have no point of reflection or truth, but it is in DESPERATE need of a few (well, more than a few) who are willing to keep their mouths closed long enough to process the thought that's coming out of it. If that takes forever....well....so be it.
This is not a "silence is golden and all words are weapons" lecture. It's just a mere reflection, from a girl who is not quick to hold her tongue but is slowly learning the need do." And a message to all of you in my sinking ship. Words are powerful tools/weapons, but what we find in their absence is the time that we need to make sure that we are using the right ones. But, you didn't hear that from me. :-)