Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Square Dance.

The title is a song that you'd never recognize. But relevant at this particular point in time (I think blogging makes everything relevant in the mind of the writer).

Ok, so, most people reflect back on the halcyon (vocab word from high school) days of their youth to remember a simpler place in time. No worries. No cares, no bills. I desired to do just that. On my first stop through traveled time, I successfully picked the virtual lock on the old blog that I kept from 2002-2006 only to discover that I have always been a long-winded, high stress, overly analytical individual. Dag! And while that may seem, on the surface, completely depressing, I take pride in knowing that my outlook on life has always been peppered with a little introspection. Or, well, alot. Since then, I feel like, in some regards, I have been square dancing through life. Not the kind that you dreaded in middle school gym, but rather the metaphoric kind, moving in steady pace and sequential step through life, staying inside the box. I've managed to do some sort of two step shuffle in time, interchanging the promise of my future with the apprehension that my past has taught me. This weekend, however, myself and a few of my friends, stepped outside the box and treked down to New Orleans for the annual Jazz Festival, which, by most standards is a very grownup thing to do. ME? A grownup? Sure. But really, the idea of New Orleans violates almost everything inside of my square of occupancy. While I was down there though, I had an interview for a job as a community organizer. Yay! I'd like to think of job interviews as your past and present hanging in the balance to decide your future. Almost like a Q & A session to recount the significance of your time on earth.

Anyway, going to Jazz fest, interviewing for a job, walking around the city, supporting Fair trade shops, thinking about where I would live when/if I moved there......despite the feeling of falling in love with NOLA, I couldn't fight the feeling that I was falling in love with the future. THE FUTURE, folks. It's amazing the type of clarity one can retain from a city with open container laws. Haha. Now, I've always loved the future, but we have always been in a time honored love-hate relationship, trying to remain in step, shuffling forward and backward. I suppose the future is currently taking the lead. For a few moments, a weekend rather, the music stopped and the two of fear and hope step timed out. I saw NOLA as somewhere I could make apart of my future. New tune. New dance. It was refreshing. But as some wise person once said, and people have repeated at nauseua, to understand/ appreciate where you going, you must know where you have been. Flashing back to roughly 3 years ago here's what I was talking about....

April 20,2006
I've just been informed that I am no lo
nger allowed to be human

Instead I must be:

*Leadership to all whom I lead
*Punctuality in all that I attend
*Fairness in all that I decide
*Kind to all who I encoun
*Excellence in every task that I complete
*Wise in every word that I speak
*Professional in every setting
that I enter
*Fashionista-like in every outfit that I wear.

In short, I must be PERFECTION in STILLETOS. Honestly.

Alright, here's the time that I contextualize the tangent. So in case you haven't already heard, I was recently elected Student Body President at UNCG for the upcoming year. Yay!! But apparently somewhere in the oath I took on Tuesday, or maybe even before, I traded my will and subsequent imperfection for an enormous social microscope through which my life is to be viewed at all times by all people. And I can't but struggle with the question of whether or not this is a good or bad thing. I can't but wonder about the process through which our lives are called to excellence. If there were never people closely observing our lives who expected nothing but the best from us, how far would we really go? And I'm not downing those of us who are self-motivated, but it seems like when we measure ourselves from the outside, there appears a greater urgency to be excellent.

Campus Harvest

Maybe I'm just a bit realistic or jaded, but I've come to believe that there is a maximum amount of wonderful that one event, person, or object can contain. I learned during the weekend of Campus Harvest, that this definition only applies to things outside of God. Campus Harvest gets better every year. Each year, I am even more excited about what God's is doing in my generation.

Other than the discovery that my hair once contained more chemicals that your local chemical plant, I'd bet that nothing about this entry surprised you. I've always belabored the present, strangling the future because I'm afraid to have it go on without me. But one think reading back through old blog entries taught me was that I have been and probably always will be the person that I am. Like I said before, it's a relief. It means that no matter what the future holds, no matter how hard the new dance of life is to learn, there is no really no reason to fear the future....everything that is special and wonderfully unique about us will remain as it is. NOLA or not, the things that define me, the things that are essential will always be with me. Scenery is a dependent variable. Status is a dependent variable. And that's fine, because I will always be independent. Sure, the future will always seem a bit scary, that which is new or unknown will always play a cord whose sound is unfamiliar. But, the future will only add to our playlist, a new song, a new dance. We'll be forced to sing along. But wait. In the event that we decide to hit shuffle and remember all of the things that make us who we are, the oldies, but goodies will certainly still be there, looping in the key of life.

Alright, enough with the extended metaphor. Here's some sobering and exciting political news!

Some things, however, are changing....and certainly for the better. A two step in the right direction.... Here is a pleasant look into the future of the 2010 elections and a fillibuster proof senate.:-) (See Below)


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