To consider that most of my entries are pre-mediated (I let the ideas simmer for at least a week) and that last year, I was all perplexed about the meaning of the government bailout and it's impact on the meaning of Christmas; this year, I'll aim at something more light hearted....and shorter. (I'll set my timer :-)
Christmas crept up on me this year. Not just because 2009 has been bananas, but also because I have not indulged myself in one ounce of the commercialization of this holiday. I'm proud. It has allowed me to focus my energy on LIFE, and why, of the many gifts that God could give us through his son, he chose that one. Interesting.
I'd presume it's because life, no matter how many ways we screw it up, complicated and devalue it, is so much more important that anything else. I had an AH-HA moment a while back that culminted in my understanding that as long as I wanted to be a community organizer, avid volunteer and overall change agent, I probably would never be rich. Or famous. That's fine. As long as I'm happy. And God is pleased. Understanding Christmas means just that for me this year. It makes perfect sense though. (Few things in my life ever do.) That a holiday celebrating Christ, should, in turn, be about life.
To reference the actual story, I never really understood the whole, there was no room at the inn thing until this year (I interpret things in metaphors- I guess that's why). But if Jesus was the gift of life, perhaps (as a metaphor) peoples lives represented the inn. And they were just too cluttered with other stuff they thought they needed: ritual, status, legalism to receive life, and liberty. It's something to think about. Clean out the inn of your life. It's likely very cluttered and confining. And you probably don't have much room to move around, let alone take free gifts. But as the famous song "Joy to the World" goes: "Let every heart, prepare him room." To commune with Jesus fully is to be free and liberated. Food for thought. (You've got enough food to eat this season).
Merry Christmas! (Hey, that was a quick one!) :-)
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Let the Circle be Unbroken...
Whether you spend the Holidays with your local “friends but we are more like family” family or whether you travel the 7 seas and backwoods to be with your real family, the Holidays really show you what family ties are made of. If you are like me, you have a very large country-ghetto suburban tendency type family. Whatever the case, family ties are important. They are fundamental to building a legacy. Legacies, I find, are what keep families across the ages, sustaining them with a rich sense of who they are and where they are going. As I sense the baton being passed onto the next generation (me and my cousins-7 of us over the age of 18), I’m getting a bit nervous-not because I don’t know who will cook Thanksgiving dinner in 10 years(though I should probably think about that)-but because I’ve seen numerous families fall by the wayside from generation to generation. I recently watched the show Find My Family. It’s a tearjerker about reunited families and it made me realize how incomplete we are without being connected to our families. I also thougt back to a book I read when I was a kid, Mildred D. Taylor's "Let the Circle Be Unbroken." The novel tells of a 1930's Mississippi family who struggles against all kids of family curses and buried secrets to build a legacy of success far beyond their poor, backwoods community. Skimming through a summary of the book, I am reminded of how many more opportinites that we have now, especially black people, to make the future better for ourselves and our kids. So, if effort to avoid pitfalls, I give you….according to my calculations, 9 Missteps of Building a Family Legacy:
1) We don’t pray together- After your praying grandmother dies, who picks up the slack? Even amidst the catch phrases “A Family that Prays together stays together” and Prayer Changes Things, who is covering your family on a day to day basis? How much time have you taken to pray for your extended family? Or your immediate for that matter?
(2) We don’t learn how to cook – Food brings people together. Correction: HOME COOKED food brings people together. The TV dinner, drive-thru age is kryptonite to the idea that while people’s lives may take many different turns, all roads lead to good food
(3) We don’t stay connected except for Holidays- How many times have you called your relatives “just because.”? It may seem small but the investment we make in the everyday lives of one another, says something about our personal values.
(4) We don’t financially support one other: We all have big dreams, huge even. But what support do we provide for one another?? For the college student needing book money, the uncle trying to start up a business, the little cousin trying to raise money for a missions trip or even the aunt trying to start a soul food restaurant- nothing says strong family ties like financial security and empowerment. African American families, in general, have an issue with this. Today’s immigrants from Asian and Latin American countries can move to the USA and within 2 years, own 10 businesses, black folks can been living in the states 20+ years and still be leasing cars. Really? It may be too much to ask of you and your budget, but sending a few dollars to another family member here or there, stretches our hands towards the hearts of those we care about most. Money isn’t everything, but it’s something to think about.
(5) We don’t have family traditions: The day after Christmas, my grandma always nags one or more of my family members to make sure that we get her decrepit Christmas tree gets put up. It’s strange. But it’s tradition. This year, I started a new one. Gathering in a circle and sharing a blessing and a prayer request. You don't have to do anything elaborate. Plant a tree, take a trip (your grandma's house doesn't count) There's accountability in tradition. I heard it said at the Spelman- Morehouse concert that "tradition is the "living spirit of the dead and traditionalism is the dead spirit of the living". I couldn't agree more. Don't make it drudgery.
(6) We let small things break us apart. Remember that one time your uncle re-nigged in Spades and costed your dad $100? And then the world came to a metaphorical end? Yeah, well that should not cause you to never attend an event where he or his children are present. Funny, I know, but we let very small things like this tear us apart. There are, on occasions, things that legitimately deeply divide a family. Child molestation, Alcoholism, unpaid debt, just to name a few. But if we think about it feuds are never worth it in the long run.
(7) We don’t stress the importance of family history or legacy- Just because you don’t have a famous last name doesn’t mean that you and others in your family should take time to value the uniqueness of your family unit. Not all black people are from Africa, Not all white people are from
(8) We perpetuate foolishness- Everyone's family has a story. Some parts good, and some episodes we'd rather omit. The one thing that most families have in common is there are partciular destructive beahviors that we just can't seem to- or care to-erradicate. For example, you've probably got at least one uncle that has cheated on his wife. Or (to be totally PC) an aunt that has cheated on her husband. It may have caused uproar in your family, or it may not have caused the slightest ripple. Whatever the case, it seems almost certain that another member of the family will do the EXACT SAME THING. Why? The gate of permissiveness is open now so you just walk right through? It's like taking a hammer and chisel, and chipping away at the foundations of family. We MUST be ACCOUNTABLE to one other. Even if it mean airing dirty laundry. After, all, it's better than letting is sit and stink up your family. If you are a bad parent who just can't seem to get your act together and be a good role-model for your children, get them a role-model. Stat. It would be a nice Christmas present. :-)
(9) We don't expect enough of one another- This item has close ties to number 8.We expect the world of everyone else. Celebrities included. *COUGH* Tiger Woods* COUGH* But we don't hold each other to any real standard of excellence-academic, professional, financial, or spiritual. In fact, we "hate on" one another for accomplishing more than we do. Yes, even parents can be guilty of hating on their children. We should, instead, have an Army "be all that you can be" motto when it comes to encouraging one another. Generations only get better if it's members value and pursue excellence.
These are certainly not all of the missteps that families make in pursuit of building a strong family legacy, in fact, it's only the tip of the iceberg. I’m in no way suggesting that you have to have a Madea- style family reunion complete with the electric slide and fish fry every weekend (although I do love a good fish fry), but today, in whatever way you can, seek to build a family legacy for your generation. Because we are the future and the future is now….or something like that. It is as much up to you as it is anyone else. So let the circle be unbroken, or break the chain, either one. And at the very least, hitch your little piece to a bright and prosperous future.
In conclusion, there's a writing called "The Paradox of Our Time" that truly sums up the condition of the modern family:
The Paradox of Our Time
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less common sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.
We spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, become too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch too much television, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and lie too often.
We have learned how to make a living, but not a life; we have added years to our life, but not life to our years. We have been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We have conquered outer space, but not conquered inner space; we have done larger things, but not better things; we have cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we have split the atom, but not the prejudice; we write more, but learn less; we plan more but accomplish less.
We have learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; more food, but less appeasement; more acquaintances, but fewer friends; more effort, but less success.
We have built more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever before, but have less communication; we have become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times for fast foods and slow digestion; tall men and short character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare, more leisure and less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-night stands, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is too much in the show window, but not enough in the stockroom. A time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just skip ahead. ~One of many versions.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Holier than Thou
DISCLAIMER: (I hate having to do these at the beginning of my writings about religion, but some of you all forget about free speech -of which my blog is one example- and go bananas. Others of you are way too religious. Relax). This entry is not intended to be negative. It is not intended to guilt, but rather to convict you so that you will press yourself for an honest assessment of your faith-if you do profess the Christian faith. It is also intended to aid you in your approach to evangelism. If you are not of the Christian faith, none of this applies to you (yet), and I am not at all moved by you being offended. Thanks.
Search the bible, and you’ll find numerous examples of people who were persecuted because of their faith. You’ll also, luckily, find answers as to how to deal with it. But maybe, just maybe (this is a pretty revolutionary idea-you may want to brace yourself) it’s not others for whom our Christianity is a problem, it’s US. No really, US. I know, that idea that we can be an impediment to the faith that we profess doesn’t make sense. Well, a lot of things in the world don’t, so there.
It seems, at least sometimes, that we are more perturbed by how to carry our faith in a natural, approachable way that people are to receive/ acknowledge it. It’s a shame, really, because Jesus, when he walked the earth, might have been more relatable than his followers are today. I mean, people actually came up to Jesus. (You’ll recall the blind man by the roadside and the woman whose only desire was to touch the hem of his garment). So why are people running away from us? Because instead of allowing our faith to enhance relationships and thereby the quality of our lives, it turns into a blockade against authenticity. Dating seems more difficult. Choosing friends seems impossible because you’ve gotta choose between your super spiritual friends and everyone else- and God for bid you mix the two! What do you say, where do you go to hang out?!?! When it comes to your individual walk with Christ, can you have a bad day? Will people miss the gospel if I don’t speak to everyone?? It’s a sort of paralysis by analysis, but I have, at various points in life, been plagued by this legalistic type of thinking, making my Christian walk look like a Trail of Tears, explaining why it’s the road less traveled. As my pastor explained, legalism has never changed anyone’s life. While the Christian faith is largely about looking from the inside out, we have to begin considering how our walk looks to others, particularly those we seek to recruit into the kingdom. Are we down to earth, relevant Christians? Or are we so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good?
I recently had a conversation my friend Rebecca about this very thing. She said that sometimes she felt the pressure, as a Christian, to be “relevant.” By relevant she meant a Christian who is in touch with culture, knows popular, secular songs, etc. It tugged on her heart to an extent because she felt that she didn’t want to be labeled as “holier than thou” but her convictions are her convictions. She wondered how necessary it was to be “relevant” and how much that compromises Christianity. I can’t say I really have the answer to that. Do you?
You see, for unbelievers, choosing a view of religion can be like window shopping. That’s mainly because many people believe that being spiritual ambiguous makes them seem more open minded, interesting, and intellectual, guaranteeing them a spot in the after life of socially acceptable people (I wonder who’s working that gate-Paris Hilton?). So they spend their youth, teens and sometimes middle age dibbling and dabbling in all kinds of new age beliefs. But why? I figure it’s a toss up between political correctness and the prevailing sentiment that Christians are hypocrites, people bound by religious laws, unable to live normal lives. In the business of religious window shopping, people want to choose what “looks best” Unfortunately, the struggles that Christians face are like the mannequins in a boutique-tired, lame, legalistic mannequins. No one even wants to take the free gift. We may need to change our marketing strategy. We must challenge ourselves to be mature enough so that our desire and commission to share the gospel is accompanied by a lifestyle that someone would want to embrace. I’d venture to say that this is one reason why more Christians don’t evangelize. Just a thought…
Thankfully, this complex question is not one for which there is no remedy. God did not intend for us to spend our time being conflicted-plagued with social anxiety and legalism. Nor did he intend for us to abandon the Christian walk for a more comfortable pair of shoes. We ourselves, as well as the people that we encounter must recognize that Christianity is a religion, followed by imperfect people, after a perfect God, that is the essence of holiness. In this pursuit, we are to live fully and richly, that our faith may be inviting and inspiring. After all WWJD?
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Spoiled Brat
After reading countless blogs and facebook notes (well, not countless)about what people have to be thankful for this year, I have reasoned that my life is deserving of such a list. Here goes.
(1) My relationship with God, because he's not shiftless like you know who and he'll never leave me nor forsake me. And trust me. If I were God, I would have left me by now. I'm thankful that God has a sense of humor that he reveals to me at least once a day.:-)
(2) Insignificance: In a world overwhelmed by people's need to be important, I am grateful that God showed me that it was ok to be behind the scenes and not, whether prompted or unprompted, give a laundry list of things that you have accomplished in the last year and reasons why you are AWESOME.
(3) Significance: I am thankful for knowing when to stand out. There's a time to speak and be heard. The timing is one of life's best keep secrets (or widely ignored trues,you decide).Whether we work tirelessly in silence or grab the mic and speak our minds. It is God who grants us our moments to shine. Not a moment too soon and not a moment too late. He makes everything beautiful in its season.
(4) Amazing opportunities to spread my wings as a community organizer: From BASIC Empowerment corporation where I have learned the importance of impacting the next generation through promoting educational excellence to the Young Democrats of Cobb County where I have experienced the power of base-level party building; I am thankful that while the work is plentiful and the laborers are few, I'm grateful to be tilling the land. :-)
(5) Connecting me with people who have amazing vision. Because frankly, it's contagious.
(6) My Afro. Yeah, I said it. It will always set me apart. Here's to a life of being "that girl" :-)
(7) The gym and my trainer: For helping me to fight off the unwanted weight of my twenties....well, most of it.
(8) Twitter: For convincing me of the power of concise thoughts (160 character thoughts to be exact)
(9)Random questionnaires on Facebook: It is through them that I learn interesting things about my friends that I would otherwise not have known.
(10) Ministry: reTHINC & CCLMI: For stretching my definition of what ministry. For engaging me in 3 hour long conference calls on how to help ministries thrive and grow, for exposing me to new causes and new parts of the city through service.
(11) My family: Because they are a ministry of their own.
(12) Stacey Evans- For entrusting me with the task of managing her campaign. We have an amazing task before us. Just think, this time next year, we will be giving thanks for electoral VICTORY! :-)
(13) Destiny Day School- For showing me not only how much I really do love kids, but also how much I can learn from them.
(14) Destiny Metropolitan Worship Church- For being the place at which I have grown to the person I am today. Every time I walk through the doors, meet new people or participate in a community outreach event, I am reminded that while the church is persecuted and ridiculed, it is still a place of hope, promise and restoration
(15) My friends- Particularly the new ones that I have made this year. You have afforded me numerous adult adventures, whose memories are sure to last a lifetime. To my "old friends" that I have bothered to keep in to keep in touch with through the seasons of my life, you are very near and dear to my heart. Whether you are my college friends or my campaign friends,thank you for what you have added to my life and thankfully subtracted.
(16) My blog! (http://1sttimothy412.blogspot.com) For keeping recent record of my personal growth, revelations, and musings about life without judgment or nagging me about pesky grammar rules. :-)
(17) FREEDOM!: And every kind, sort and degree of it.
(18) My relationship with Christ: Because without it, none of the aforementioned items would be possible.
Really, I'm kinda spoiled. And maybe, if you took a good look at your life, you'd agree that you are too. The art in Thanksgiving-true and sincere thanksgiving- is to remember that it is a lifestyle. We must be constantly reflective on the things that were are thankful for so even when the day-to-day grumbling threatens to consume our attitudes about life, we can be reminded of our abundant blessings.
Happy Turkey Day Everyone!
(1) My relationship with God, because he's not shiftless like you know who and he'll never leave me nor forsake me. And trust me. If I were God, I would have left me by now. I'm thankful that God has a sense of humor that he reveals to me at least once a day.:-)
(2) Insignificance: In a world overwhelmed by people's need to be important, I am grateful that God showed me that it was ok to be behind the scenes and not, whether prompted or unprompted, give a laundry list of things that you have accomplished in the last year and reasons why you are AWESOME.
(3) Significance: I am thankful for knowing when to stand out. There's a time to speak and be heard. The timing is one of life's best keep secrets (or widely ignored trues,you decide).Whether we work tirelessly in silence or grab the mic and speak our minds. It is God who grants us our moments to shine. Not a moment too soon and not a moment too late. He makes everything beautiful in its season.
(4) Amazing opportunities to spread my wings as a community organizer: From BASIC Empowerment corporation where I have learned the importance of impacting the next generation through promoting educational excellence to the Young Democrats of Cobb County where I have experienced the power of base-level party building; I am thankful that while the work is plentiful and the laborers are few, I'm grateful to be tilling the land. :-)
(5) Connecting me with people who have amazing vision. Because frankly, it's contagious.
(6) My Afro. Yeah, I said it. It will always set me apart. Here's to a life of being "that girl" :-)
(7) The gym and my trainer: For helping me to fight off the unwanted weight of my twenties....well, most of it.
(8) Twitter: For convincing me of the power of concise thoughts (160 character thoughts to be exact)
(9)Random questionnaires on Facebook: It is through them that I learn interesting things about my friends that I would otherwise not have known.
(10) Ministry: reTHINC & CCLMI: For stretching my definition of what ministry. For engaging me in 3 hour long conference calls on how to help ministries thrive and grow, for exposing me to new causes and new parts of the city through service.
(11) My family: Because they are a ministry of their own.
(12) Stacey Evans- For entrusting me with the task of managing her campaign. We have an amazing task before us. Just think, this time next year, we will be giving thanks for electoral VICTORY! :-)
(13) Destiny Day School- For showing me not only how much I really do love kids, but also how much I can learn from them.
(14) Destiny Metropolitan Worship Church- For being the place at which I have grown to the person I am today. Every time I walk through the doors, meet new people or participate in a community outreach event, I am reminded that while the church is persecuted and ridiculed, it is still a place of hope, promise and restoration
(15) My friends- Particularly the new ones that I have made this year. You have afforded me numerous adult adventures, whose memories are sure to last a lifetime. To my "old friends" that I have bothered to keep in to keep in touch with through the seasons of my life, you are very near and dear to my heart. Whether you are my college friends or my campaign friends,thank you for what you have added to my life and thankfully subtracted.
(16) My blog! (http://1sttimothy412.blogspot.com) For keeping recent record of my personal growth, revelations, and musings about life without judgment or nagging me about pesky grammar rules. :-)
(17) FREEDOM!: And every kind, sort and degree of it.
(18) My relationship with Christ: Because without it, none of the aforementioned items would be possible.
Really, I'm kinda spoiled. And maybe, if you took a good look at your life, you'd agree that you are too. The art in Thanksgiving-true and sincere thanksgiving- is to remember that it is a lifestyle. We must be constantly reflective on the things that were are thankful for so even when the day-to-day grumbling threatens to consume our attitudes about life, we can be reminded of our abundant blessings.
Happy Turkey Day Everyone!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Trust Me....
Trust Me.
You’ve uttered those words countless times and probably have no clue what you’re asking someone to agree to. And really, it’s no surprise to me that trust, in many situations, is dispensed so freely. It is a bi-product of a society on the moral decline. Trust now ranks up there with fidelity and integrity. Sadly, they’re all on life-support. Clinging on for dear life to the few people who recognize and value them. Ancient times (really, times before Webster’s provided us with hundred-word definitions) defined trust as covenants made between two people or a person and a higher being. A trusting relationship was one in which there was a mutual allegiance and shared expectation. Now, the word merely references a surface relationship and exchange of information in which no party FULLY understands the level of accountability that they have to the person to whom they’ve spoken the words “Trust me.”
I’m a born again cynic and unfortunately, I have only recently come to the place in my life where I can actually believe the best about people and their intentions, let alone trust them.(God’s working on me). I trust few people in my life but have substantial grounds by which to do so. It’s not to say that there aren’t others in my life that have trustworthy potential. It’s only to suggest that there are few people of whom I have taken such an in depth inventory of. Trust is, in my opinion, the pinnacle of a committed relationship, not the starting point for an acquaintance. Sure the aforementioned notions are contextualized by experience, but even with time and age, this premise has remained.
I was recently doing an impromptu study of a relationship book with my friend Rebecca. The book was called “When Love is in View” It’s a great book. I was especially drawn to the authors’ views on the issue of trust. Considering that the book is about Christian dating, you can imagine what the authors had to say, but the thing that did stick with me was the idea that trust should stretch far and wide in a relationship. We should not compartmentalize our trust. You shouldn’t trust someone to keep a secret if you can’t trust they’d speak up for you if someone was slandering your name. Bottom line, if I trust you, I trust you completely. If I don’t trust you completely, I don’t trust you at all. Shortens the list for you, huh? It’s always interesting to me, when I look at people’s lives, to see who and what they trust. It speaks volumes about their character. I know people who find religion, in all of its different forms, completely absurd but watch Oprah as if it were a televangelist program. They buy everything from hand cream to books because Oprah says “Trust me, it’s great.” And here God is, everyday, saying “Trust me” and those very same people can’t bring themselves to entertain the thought let alone read the book that provides them with proof. Hmmm.
And so I ask you this, how many people’s lives have you inadvertently assumed responsibility for by way of this thing called trust? If the only qualification is having said to them “Trust Me,” there are probably too many to name. And at this point there’s really not much you can do about this laundry list. What you can do it make an effort-a concerted one- to be trustworthy and further, not to put yourself in a situation of trustee in someone’s life unless you are ready for the responsibility. It’s a heavy load to carry, ya know? Well, maybe you don’t. Just trust me on this one. :-)
You’ve uttered those words countless times and probably have no clue what you’re asking someone to agree to. And really, it’s no surprise to me that trust, in many situations, is dispensed so freely. It is a bi-product of a society on the moral decline. Trust now ranks up there with fidelity and integrity. Sadly, they’re all on life-support. Clinging on for dear life to the few people who recognize and value them. Ancient times (really, times before Webster’s provided us with hundred-word definitions) defined trust as covenants made between two people or a person and a higher being. A trusting relationship was one in which there was a mutual allegiance and shared expectation. Now, the word merely references a surface relationship and exchange of information in which no party FULLY understands the level of accountability that they have to the person to whom they’ve spoken the words “Trust me.”
I’m a born again cynic and unfortunately, I have only recently come to the place in my life where I can actually believe the best about people and their intentions, let alone trust them.(God’s working on me). I trust few people in my life but have substantial grounds by which to do so. It’s not to say that there aren’t others in my life that have trustworthy potential. It’s only to suggest that there are few people of whom I have taken such an in depth inventory of. Trust is, in my opinion, the pinnacle of a committed relationship, not the starting point for an acquaintance. Sure the aforementioned notions are contextualized by experience, but even with time and age, this premise has remained.
I was recently doing an impromptu study of a relationship book with my friend Rebecca. The book was called “When Love is in View” It’s a great book. I was especially drawn to the authors’ views on the issue of trust. Considering that the book is about Christian dating, you can imagine what the authors had to say, but the thing that did stick with me was the idea that trust should stretch far and wide in a relationship. We should not compartmentalize our trust. You shouldn’t trust someone to keep a secret if you can’t trust they’d speak up for you if someone was slandering your name. Bottom line, if I trust you, I trust you completely. If I don’t trust you completely, I don’t trust you at all. Shortens the list for you, huh? It’s always interesting to me, when I look at people’s lives, to see who and what they trust. It speaks volumes about their character. I know people who find religion, in all of its different forms, completely absurd but watch Oprah as if it were a televangelist program. They buy everything from hand cream to books because Oprah says “Trust me, it’s great.” And here God is, everyday, saying “Trust me” and those very same people can’t bring themselves to entertain the thought let alone read the book that provides them with proof. Hmmm.
And so I ask you this, how many people’s lives have you inadvertently assumed responsibility for by way of this thing called trust? If the only qualification is having said to them “Trust Me,” there are probably too many to name. And at this point there’s really not much you can do about this laundry list. What you can do it make an effort-a concerted one- to be trustworthy and further, not to put yourself in a situation of trustee in someone’s life unless you are ready for the responsibility. It’s a heavy load to carry, ya know? Well, maybe you don’t. Just trust me on this one. :-)
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Trick or Treat
Whew! We made it through another Halloween weekend. The only Halloween that I can recall where no ghosts, goblins, spooky sounds, nor terrifying costumes are necessary. Because this year, reality is much scarier than anything in a horror movie. Let's take a look....
Swine flu is killing kids faster than we can subject them to a deplorable public school education and, if they're black, send them to jail. The war in Afghanistan is escalating. Job loss is still soaring. And there have been recent spikes of murderous violence that is causing more and more people to live in terror even in safe, quiet, suburbs. Chilling.
But with the world in such a mess, it seems strange that anyone would want to celebrate a much darker side of existence. Perhaps it is an escape. An economic stimulus, maybe?And in theses tough economic times...blah, blah, blah. But, perhaps, there could be a much deeper theme underlying it all. If we agree that darkness (dark concepts-i.e-ghosts, murders, fear) are separate from lighter concepts (life, birth, happiness), let's proceed. When we consider that when we embrace one (i.e-life), we seldom embrace it's opposite-death, it seems that we should all be sunny and cheery or depressed. The reality is that we exist in a world where we these concepts are intrinsically linked. Life, even in it's fullness, will meet an inevitable death. Happiness based on family, wealth, or success is linked to the fear that we may loose it all. We don't need to look far to understand this painful reality. And sure, as Mufasa says, it's all apart of the great circle of life. Couple that with the fact that we can't all live in Pleasantville. And there you have it, modern day USA. We've tricked ourselves into believing that the treat of happiness is an illusion and depression is a reality. When we celebrate darkness, we're basically celebrating the reality of despair in someones life, one that may far outlast a commercial holiday. A scariness that may be all too real.
I attended a Spoken word show this weekend appropriately titled Last Call. But beyond a clever play on words (they weren't talking about alcohol) the concept of Last Call really resonated with me. I see it as the metaphor for life's ultimate drum roll and grand finale fanfare. With the current state of affairs, who knows where we'll all end up. The necessity to live our lives responsibly and FULLY has never been more real than now. Whether we choose to walk in the light or in the dark, we all must be reminded our days are numbered. That whatever gifts and talent we are given on earth to unearth the fullness of humanity, we MUST use. If we allow the darkness, fear and despair to consume us, wasting opportunity after opportunity, or the recklessness of youth to destroy us, we miss the chance to live boldly and passionately. And when the last call comes, we are riddled with regret and faced with death. It may not be happening to you and it may not be happening to me, but it's happening to someone. Right now.
I write, this, as always, from a completely biased point of view. I've always, always, hated Halloween. But I am always grateful for extended metaphor. So all sexy kitten and naughty police uniforms aside, (my parents would never let me dress up in slutty costumes). I hope that this Halloween you do just a little bit of reflection. About the dark places in your life, that you never entertain for fear of forcing them into light. Truth is, We've got plenty of REAL issues to lavish a good bit of screaming on. People whose REAL issues surpass horror. Those issues will not yield to darkness or go back into hiding on Nov 1, but rather push their way into the light, forcing us to face them. I hope that you are not too busy playing dress up to notice. The window of time is much smaller than we think. By the time your kids are coming down from sugar highs and you are recovering from hangovers, the world and its problems will come knocking on your door. Trick or treat?
Swine flu is killing kids faster than we can subject them to a deplorable public school education and, if they're black, send them to jail. The war in Afghanistan is escalating. Job loss is still soaring. And there have been recent spikes of murderous violence that is causing more and more people to live in terror even in safe, quiet, suburbs. Chilling.
But with the world in such a mess, it seems strange that anyone would want to celebrate a much darker side of existence. Perhaps it is an escape. An economic stimulus, maybe?And in theses tough economic times...blah, blah, blah. But, perhaps, there could be a much deeper theme underlying it all. If we agree that darkness (dark concepts-i.e-ghosts, murders, fear) are separate from lighter concepts (life, birth, happiness), let's proceed. When we consider that when we embrace one (i.e-life), we seldom embrace it's opposite-death, it seems that we should all be sunny and cheery or depressed. The reality is that we exist in a world where we these concepts are intrinsically linked. Life, even in it's fullness, will meet an inevitable death. Happiness based on family, wealth, or success is linked to the fear that we may loose it all. We don't need to look far to understand this painful reality. And sure, as Mufasa says, it's all apart of the great circle of life. Couple that with the fact that we can't all live in Pleasantville. And there you have it, modern day USA. We've tricked ourselves into believing that the treat of happiness is an illusion and depression is a reality. When we celebrate darkness, we're basically celebrating the reality of despair in someones life, one that may far outlast a commercial holiday. A scariness that may be all too real.
I attended a Spoken word show this weekend appropriately titled Last Call. But beyond a clever play on words (they weren't talking about alcohol) the concept of Last Call really resonated with me. I see it as the metaphor for life's ultimate drum roll and grand finale fanfare. With the current state of affairs, who knows where we'll all end up. The necessity to live our lives responsibly and FULLY has never been more real than now. Whether we choose to walk in the light or in the dark, we all must be reminded our days are numbered. That whatever gifts and talent we are given on earth to unearth the fullness of humanity, we MUST use. If we allow the darkness, fear and despair to consume us, wasting opportunity after opportunity, or the recklessness of youth to destroy us, we miss the chance to live boldly and passionately. And when the last call comes, we are riddled with regret and faced with death. It may not be happening to you and it may not be happening to me, but it's happening to someone. Right now.
I write, this, as always, from a completely biased point of view. I've always, always, hated Halloween. But I am always grateful for extended metaphor. So all sexy kitten and naughty police uniforms aside, (my parents would never let me dress up in slutty costumes). I hope that this Halloween you do just a little bit of reflection. About the dark places in your life, that you never entertain for fear of forcing them into light. Truth is, We've got plenty of REAL issues to lavish a good bit of screaming on. People whose REAL issues surpass horror. Those issues will not yield to darkness or go back into hiding on Nov 1, but rather push their way into the light, forcing us to face them. I hope that you are not too busy playing dress up to notice. The window of time is much smaller than we think. By the time your kids are coming down from sugar highs and you are recovering from hangovers, the world and its problems will come knocking on your door. Trick or treat?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Can You Hear Me Now??
No?? Well, it's probably better that way. Because you'd probably be alarmed, bewildered, concerned and insulted (maybe even all at once). Not because of the words that come directly from my lips, but rather by the words that never escape them. They're mine. They're yours. They're everyone's.....inner thoughts.... (insert goosebumps and spooky music). In a world where we are always encouraged to speak our minds and frankly, to be outspoken, it's no wonder that none gives credence to thought and SILENCE anymore. But thoughts are powerful. Not only because they are the basis of our actions, but because they often are MORE powerful than the words on our lips or the work of our hands. Sure the power of thoughts may SEEM to pale in comparison to the consequence of our deeds, but the uncensored thought, the silent refection, is the basis of our own truth. The truth that we take into the world, the truth with which we impact lives.
Whether it's patiently dealing with a co-worker who is working your last nerve with their dumb questions (yes, there is such a thing as a dumb question), graciously greeting that special (and I do mean special) someone who has stepped to you wrong one too many times, or shifting your eyes and smiling nervously when you are trapped in an elevator with someone you KNOW just passed gas.....our inner thoughts at work, carefully crafting the words that we will never, ever say. Why? Societal sensors of course. Decorum that preserves the feelings of the person at whom our thoughts are directly, sparing them embarrassment, fear and "come to Jesus moments," while we feel those very same things, double time. And while this seems like a raw deal, we find that time after time, when we open our mouths out of fear or ignorance or impulsiveness we are the most destructive. Why? Because the world would like to make you think that you are a punk if you don't SAY SOMETHING. All when we could have let silence SPEAK VOLUMES in our place. It's like those old, wise women who sit on porch stoops bearing witness to some of the most questionable and sometimes foul things all while shrugging their shoulders, raising their eyebrows, whistling and continuing to knit. The unbroken silence is baffling to most of us who have something to say about everything. Her unspoken words, may help a child escape from their abusive home in the middle of the night, keep a homeless man from being arrested, or protect a young man, teased to the point of torture. These are women, for whom silence is their strength.
Ever taken a road trip by yourself or spent time alone in meditation or prayer? The quality time spent in SILENCE with your inner thoughts is either comforting enough to become a routine or terrifying enough to make you want to spend the rest of your 20's on a shrink's couch. Even when the world around you speaks, YELLS even; when you are quieted enough to discover what is at your core, what amazing inner and outer strength we find! A man was once quoted as saying that "our time spent in the private place will determine our strength in the public place." Whether the private place we find is our own minds or in the corner of our closets, find it, and and stay there as long as you need too. After all, the world is not in need of another talking head whose comments have no point of reflection or truth, but it is in DESPERATE need of a few (well, more than a few) who are willing to keep their mouths closed long enough to process the thought that's coming out of it. If that takes forever....well....so be it.
This is not a "silence is golden and all words are weapons" lecture. It's just a mere reflection, from a girl who is not quick to hold her tongue but is slowly learning the need do." And a message to all of you in my sinking ship. Words are powerful tools/weapons, but what we find in their absence is the time that we need to make sure that we are using the right ones. But, you didn't hear that from me. :-)
Whether it's patiently dealing with a co-worker who is working your last nerve with their dumb questions (yes, there is such a thing as a dumb question), graciously greeting that special (and I do mean special) someone who has stepped to you wrong one too many times, or shifting your eyes and smiling nervously when you are trapped in an elevator with someone you KNOW just passed gas.....our inner thoughts at work, carefully crafting the words that we will never, ever say. Why? Societal sensors of course. Decorum that preserves the feelings of the person at whom our thoughts are directly, sparing them embarrassment, fear and "come to Jesus moments," while we feel those very same things, double time. And while this seems like a raw deal, we find that time after time, when we open our mouths out of fear or ignorance or impulsiveness we are the most destructive. Why? Because the world would like to make you think that you are a punk if you don't SAY SOMETHING. All when we could have let silence SPEAK VOLUMES in our place. It's like those old, wise women who sit on porch stoops bearing witness to some of the most questionable and sometimes foul things all while shrugging their shoulders, raising their eyebrows, whistling and continuing to knit. The unbroken silence is baffling to most of us who have something to say about everything. Her unspoken words, may help a child escape from their abusive home in the middle of the night, keep a homeless man from being arrested, or protect a young man, teased to the point of torture. These are women, for whom silence is their strength.
Ever taken a road trip by yourself or spent time alone in meditation or prayer? The quality time spent in SILENCE with your inner thoughts is either comforting enough to become a routine or terrifying enough to make you want to spend the rest of your 20's on a shrink's couch. Even when the world around you speaks, YELLS even; when you are quieted enough to discover what is at your core, what amazing inner and outer strength we find! A man was once quoted as saying that "our time spent in the private place will determine our strength in the public place." Whether the private place we find is our own minds or in the corner of our closets, find it, and and stay there as long as you need too. After all, the world is not in need of another talking head whose comments have no point of reflection or truth, but it is in DESPERATE need of a few (well, more than a few) who are willing to keep their mouths closed long enough to process the thought that's coming out of it. If that takes forever....well....so be it.
This is not a "silence is golden and all words are weapons" lecture. It's just a mere reflection, from a girl who is not quick to hold her tongue but is slowly learning the need do." And a message to all of you in my sinking ship. Words are powerful tools/weapons, but what we find in their absence is the time that we need to make sure that we are using the right ones. But, you didn't hear that from me. :-)
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